Love Conquers All

We sat in darkness, waiting to be called to the center, to be given the elixer of unshrouded mysteries. I was holding Love in my heart. Allowing its strength and solidity to wash over me. Sitting closest to Alberto, I was last to be called. When it was my time, I went shakily and knelt in front of Herbert, who was administering tonight. I held the little cup in my hands, closed my eyes, lifted it above me and said, "I do this for Love. Because I Love myself." I poured the salty concoction into my mouth and allowed it fall freely into my body. As soon as it was in my belly, I began the chant. "Love, Love, Love, Love. People we are made to Love. Love each other as ourselves for we are One." Over and over and over. I felt a sense of peace and rightness. Tonight would be the night. It was failproof. After about thirty minutes, I could feel Aya mama taking over and began to see many things as from a distance. I saw the monster, but not as scary this time because now I knew she was me. She was the one who was scared. She was onto me knowing. I approached her and could see my heart in my chest, filled with Light. The monster grew smaller until she was a wall of muck and mire, dripping gunk and nastiness. I reached my hand into that crap, heart beating with Love for what I was about to see and pull out. And my God. My God. My God. Goddess. I felt her hand. Small. Tiny. She couldn´t resist because I couldn´t resist. She was ready, too. Oh so ready. I had been talking to her all day. Promising her beauty and a different place. Hope. Love. Kindness. Goodness. It´s not your fault. You are not to blame. You are such a beautiful little angel. You deserve to be with me, to experience Love. I Love you. I will not let anyone ever harm you again. Darling. Sweetheart. Because really, she was just that. A six year old girl with much to bear upon her small, frail shoulders. My heart broke at how long she´s lived with this burden. And I saw her. This is an experience I will never forget. After having never been able to remember me as a child, I was now gifted with a rare opportunity to see me from the eyes of a grown-up. A guardian. A teacher. A mentor. She came out, her hand holding mine. She was small and thin. A beautiful brown color, her head bowed down, and man, I just pulled her too me. None of this shame anymore. I held her tight. I hugged her and felt how young she was. So beautiful. So, this is you? This is me? God, I love you. I never want to let you go. I could feel her the warmth of her body in my arms. I let her go and looked her in the eyes. This nightmare is over, you hear me? You no longer have to live where you´ve been living. You are free now. Taste your freedom. You´re going to live with me now, and you´re going to be just fine. At this point, I felt sick in my stomach. I knew it was her. I told her, "Go ahead, throw up all the crap you´ve been living with. Throw it all up. Let it go. Get it out of you." And I held her little body as she doubled over and heaved out black gunk. Tears were streaming down her face and I kept thinking, "How brave. How brave." The rest of my vision was of us playing together, in the river, splashing. Me hugging her. Her letting go. Releasing. And Love. A grateful heart with no bounds. No limits. No fears. No anxiety. Love. Love. Love. And then I was flying in my mind. In the universe. I could feel the vibration of every living thing in my body. No other thoughts. Loss of Ego. Loss of my own Voice. Just One with everything around me. Beautiful. I wanted to stay there forever. Ahhhhhhhhhh. sweet. release. welcome home. we are one.